Riddles about Women |
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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
That's not funny, OKAY!?!
or
Two. One to change the light bulb and one to suck my dick.
or
Three. One to do it and the others to consider unscrewing it before it's a
third of the way in.
or
Four. One to do it and the rest to consider the sexual implications.
or
Five. One to change the bulb, one to complain that the bulb is violating the
socket, one to secretly wish she were the socket, one to secretly wish she were
the bulb, while the last one gets all charged up and turned on watching the
others.
or
Six. One to change it and five to wring their hands and agonize about how
oppressed the socket is.
or
Seventy. One to change it while the others make a 69.
Why did it take 4 women with PMS to change a light bulb?
It just did okay!!!!!
Why won't feminists use Unix?
There aren't any woman pages.
How do you know if a ship is being captained by a feminist?
If the ship starts to sink, she shouts out, "Women the lifeboats!!" and then she
orders all of the ship's toilet seats nailed down to stop any incoming water.
How many men does it take to wallpaper a feminist's house?
Only four if you slice them thin enough.
Why did God create lesbians?
So feminists wouldn't breed.
How do you know God isn't a woman?
If God were a woman, cum would taste like chocolate!
Why did God give woman nipples?
To make suckers out of men.
What is a Femi-nazi?
A women that won't sleep with Rush Limbutt.
What's easier to make: a snowman or a snowwoman?
A snowman is easier to make, 'cause with a snowwoman you have to hollow out the
head and pack all that extra snow into balls to make her large breasts!
What is the difference between a pitbull dog and a PMS woman?
Lipstick.
What is the difference between a terrorist and a PMS woman?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Why did the woman cross the road?
Who cares? What the hell was she doing out of the kitchen?!!
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
She's a woman.
How do you blind a woman?
Put a windshield in front of her face.
How many men does it take to do the washing?
None, it's a woman's job.
How many men does it take to clean a toilet?
None. That's women's work!
What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 5 drinks.
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.
Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.
What is the the fleshy mass surrounding the vagina called?
The woman.
Why do women change their minds so often?
To keep them clean.
Why do women pay so much attention to their appearance than to improving their
minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Why do women play with their hair at traffic lights?
Because they don't have any balls to scratch.
or
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning?
Because they don't have any balls to scratch.
What is the difference between a computer and a woman?
A computer will not laugh at a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.
How can a woman tell if she is having a super orgasm?
Her husband wakes up.
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
When don't most women ever tell their husbands when they're really enjoying sex?
Because their husbands are never there when it happens!
Besides "I love you", what three words does a wife want to hear most?
"I'll fix it."
Marriage for women has its ups and downs. How?
The toilet seat is up and the hubby's sex interest is down.
Why are some women beginning to like work better than sex?
More perks, and the payoff is better.
What is six inches long, two inches wide, has a head on it, and women are crazy for it?
Money!!!
What happens if a woman puts her panties on backwards?
She gets her arse chewed out.
Why does a woman close her eyes when she's having sex?
Because no woman ever wants to see a man enjoying himself!
How does the single woman get rid of roaches?
She asks them for a commitment.
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Slap the bitch.
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